When I was growing up we lived in a street where all of my family lived a few doors away from one another. This meant we were all pretty close.
My Auntie & Uncle lived up the road and I was there all of the time. I stayed there, they took me out, taught me to tell the time, how to tie my shoes. Little things that have stuck with me.
I haven't seen them for maybe 8 years. I was so close to my Auntie in particular, then I got older. They moved away. We lost touch.
Sometimes, when I think of her, I actually cry. Real tears. You know when something cuts you deep? When I think of the time I spent with her and the things she taught me. It rips me apart.
Events in my life that have happened and I've wanted to pick up the phone and tell her or have her advise me.
I hear a certain song on the radio and it will instantly take me back to a particular time and the things we would do. The way I stir my gravy on Sundays, its the exact way she did it. The way I polish my furniture? Its the way she did it.
When you're a kid you don't realise that you absorb everything like a sponge. You think the insignificant moments are just that. Yet here I am at 32 and I remember everything. Her perfume, the smell of the cream she used to put on her face and the way she used to iron in the sunshine. I cherish them.
The things she taught me. The experiences I wouldn't of had if it weren't for her. I hope to see her again one day.
You get one shot. One shot of this life. Don't waste it. We are blessed to have the little moments. Take them all in.
Until I see her again, the little things that remind me of her keep me going. I probably didn't know how lucky I was to have her then; I do now.
If you ever read this, just know. I am who I am, because of you. You taught me all of the little things, that have helped me navigate the bigger things. For that I am truly thankful. Thankful for you.
Be kind to one another.
Ash Xo